Our Fatherless Father’s Day
For those of us without fathers or children this Father’s Day there may be other ways to honour the role Dad played in our lives.
Father’s Day without your Dad
The tools, ties and socks catalogues start rolling in way too soon for those of us who will have no father or child to be with this Father’s Day.
But the spiritual presence of Dad can still be celebrated for the rock, guide and mentor he was – the man who made us feel safe and protected.
For whatever reason we are ‘fatherless’ the grief can be overwhelming on this day.
For those of us without fathers or children this Father’s Day there may be other ways to honour the role Dad played in our lives.
Look for all the Dads in your life and celebrate them
Your Dad may be there in other men and role models. A colleague or manager may be there watching your back and shining a light on your strengths. A neighbour, an uncle, a grandfather, a friend, may all play a part in being dads for you. You could give them a gift on Father’s Day and recognise for yourself how you are still protected, guided and cared for.
Celebrate with others who don’t have their Dads with them
Have a Father’s Day get together where everyone without their Dad can gather to do what dads do. It may be watching or playing sport, listening to music or having a BBQ and sharing memories or cracking Dad jokes with friends!
Do something that would impress him and make him proud
Dads set standards for us to live up to. To give more, work more, play more. We learn those lessons as we grow up. It can feel like he is there with you when you do something in honour of those lessons. Acknowledge the strength you have within yourself to achieve what you set out to do.
Care for yourself
How did your dad care for you? Was it a big cuddle at night before bed? Was it spending time together listening to music or watching a favourite movie? Was it financial advice?…a great time to get your tax done! Was it taking you to your sporting or special events?…you can honour that by caring for yourself.
"How did your dad care for you?...you can honour that by caring for yourself"
Do things to remember him on this day
- Listen to the feelings inside you and let the love guide you. Great things that help millions of people come from grief. Let the love for your child move you.
- Light a candle, place a photo, and keep an altar, somewhere where you can sit and talk or just be with them. You can let them go out of your sight and then you have times when they are there again
- As you sit see what inspiration or insights come. We can often hear our own inner guidance, or theirs, when we are still long enough to hear it.
- Love for your father may look like starting a charity or raising money for one.
- You may wish to create a garden, plant a tree, build something or make something.
- You might create an event, throw a party, or hold a ceremony or support group.
- Your love may look like poetry or writing, speaking, walking, time alone, time being busy, cooking, sewing, singing.
- Your love may look like joining a support group online, on Facebook or in person. Being part of a group where everyone can talk freely about their fathers with all the love they want.
Whatever you need to do to ease the pain of this day without your dad, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for support and find the dad within yourself and others.
At Tobin Brothers, we wish you all the love and support you need this Father’s Day.
Samantha Rennie
Community Education Manager, Tobin Brothers Funerals
