Christmas Remembrance Services 2023
Christmas Remembrance Service 2023
Christmas Remembrance Services
During December 2023, Tobin Brothers Funerals hosted a series of Christmas Remembrance Services, designed to bring comfort to all who have lost family members or friends during the year, and we invite all to attend.
Whether Tobin Brothers have helped you to arrange the funeral of your loved one or not, whether you have met with us before or simply heard about our Christmas Services through our advertising or word of mouth you are welcome to attend this year, and for years to come if you feel called to do so.
In 2023, we have partnered with The Compassionate Friends Victoria Inc. who provide great support for families. Compassionate Friends is part of a world-wide organisation offering friendship and understanding to families following the death of a son or daughter, brother or sister.
Christmas takes on new meaning
Throughout the year in our work we are touched deeply by the many different people and families who are faced with the loss of someone that they love. Sometimes that loss has been expected as people traverse the uncertain landscape of illness or old age, sometimes that death is unexpected, throwing us deep into the chasm of heartache and loss.
The road ahead has greatly changed. Times of special moments when in the past we have gathered with joy and anticipation in love and celebration with those who share the journey of life with us, birthdays, anniversaries, religious festivals and celebrations, special holiday times, and of course that significant time for many of Christmas, now take on a different meaning and play a different role in our life.
This year, as in years past, our Tobin Brothers Christmas Remembrance Services provide the opportunity for you to gather and remember. A time when the normal and increasing demands of the holiday season are set aside however briefly whilst you come quietly to sit and reflect giving focus to someone you have loved.
Conversations at Christmas
As we bid goodbye to family and friends each year, laden with memories and unable to eat another morsel of Christmas fare, thoughts already turn to plans for the following year.
Perhaps you have a rotation of family houses, where everyone knows the location if not the exact day and time. Conversations might centre around the success of the ‘Kris Kringle’ or what was whisked away, catching up on news from the past year, including new relationships, babies, houses, and job changes.
Despite occasional irritations, Christmas prompts these valuable catch-ups with family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours, becoming an integral part of the holiday ritual, much like the lights, food, and decorations.
These conversations shift rather suddenly when someone has died and it can be difficult to know what to say to one another, or how to simply ‘get through’ this time of the year.
One of the deepest sadnesses following a loss is missing the person we have loved, being unable to share the joy of family and community. As we navigate these feelings, the festive season can bring unique challenges, sometimes making participation difficult. The constant rotation of Christmas carols and increased commitments might feel overwhelming, adding to the heaviness we already feel. Conversations with others about plans and get-togethers persist, even when finding the energy to engage can be hard.
However, these valued conversations do not end with their passing but may find different expressions. If given the opportunity, what would you want to say to those you’ve lost? You might share updates, express how much they are missed and loved, and imagine their responses. This process is unique to each person, with no prescribed method to integrate loss into our being or a definite way to cope.
Creating New Traditions Amidst Loss
As Christmas approaches, you might decide to change the conversation from previous years, perhaps spending time in quiet reflection or visiting a cemetery. You may choose to leave cherished decorations for another year or create a new look with modern trinkets. Attending Midnight Mass, having a picnic, or creating a remembrance space with photos and candles might become new traditions. Writing a letter to those you miss can continue the conversation, allowing you to express your thoughts and feelings as you light a candle in their memory.
'I Missed You Today'
“I missed you today but that’s nothing new,
I missed you a million times yesterday too.
I picked up my phone to tell you the news,
then realised, again, I can’t text it to you.
I saw your bright smile, at least twenty times,
and then I remember, it’s all in my mind.
I drive without presence, the world feels surreal,
And on comes your song and this doesn’t seem real.
I missed you today but I miss you a lot,
It’s helpful to miss you, it’s all that I’ve got.
I wish I could pull you down here for a while
I’m frightened to lose the shape of your smile.
I miss you today and I’ll miss you tomorrow,
There seems to be no coming end to this sorrow.
I try to go on as I know that you care,
I know that you’re willing me on from up there.
I missed you today but I’m trying to find,
a way to move on but not leave you behind.
A way to forge on with the love that we had,
A way to recall you and simply feel…glad.”
Written by Donna Ashworth
A Conversation with Ourselves
There is another conversation that we cannot overlook, and that is the conversation we have with ourselves. It is our inner dialogue, our own personal thoughts of all that we value, all that we have achieved, all that we have withstood, and all that we are.
Perhaps in the conversation we have with ourselves, we should include an affirmation of the fact that we have continued to make our way onward in life despite the fact that our heart is heavy and lonely at times. That we have continued to turn up most days for the things and the people that have needed of us, that we have continued to find some optimism and joy in the small things, lifting our eyes to the wonder of this life when we can, and that most importantly of all, that we have continued to love.
Coping at Christmas
Our coming together at these Christmas Remembrance events gives people the opportunity to create a space in your lives to dedicate moments of remembrance that are unique to the people you have loved. Through the reflections offered during the services, we hope that you find some encouragement and a different perspective to this approaching festive season.
There are no simple answers to dealing with grief at Christmas, but we at Tobin Brothers do share with you some suggestions as to how you might choose to take care of yourself during the festive season.
You are invited to attend a Service
Anyone bereaved is welcome to attend our Christmas Remembrance Services each year, whether the person has died this year or in years past, we have many people and families who return to these services for comfort.
There is no cost involved but to reserve a seat please register on our website where you will also find more information and the service dates and times.
Tobin Brothers Funerals
Celebrating Lives Since 1934
